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18052014-africa-ID-10028280

 

Nous nous sommes appropriés (ou nous avons gardé) des réflexes de singes.

Ce comportement nous empêche d’arriver au bonheur. Sauf que la plupart du temps, nous ne nous rendons même pas compte que nous en sommes à l’origine.

Comme toujours l’autre (notre généalogie, notre ADN, les circonstances extérieures) nous a piégé. Mais est-ce vraiment vrai ?

Découvrons ce comportement nuisible à notre bonheur  

Dans certains endroits d’Inde, voici comment on fait pour attraper des singes. On attache des récipients au goulot étroit à des arbres. On les remplit de noix, de fruits ou de toute autre nourriture délicieuse aux yeux des primates.

Ils se précipitent alors, enfonçant leur main dans le bocal et la refermant sur leur trésor. La main fermée du singe est trop grosse pour sortir du récipient et les voilà piégés.

Il suffit alors de détacher le pot car le singe refuse obstinément d’ouvrir la main.

Il préfère sacrifier sa liberté pour « des cacahuètes » !

En quoi sommes-nous semblables à ces singes ?

Chantal est veuve depuis 2 ans. Elle n’arrive pas à calmer sa colère contre sa belle-mère. Cette dernière leur a pourri la vie pendant tout leur mariage. Se permet de virer les fleurs de la tombe du mari de Chantal pour y placer les siennes, elle fait tourner la famille autour d’elle-même.

Chantal sait qu’elle serait mieux si elle lui pardonnait. Mais elle n’y arrive pas.

Chantal est attachée à sa colère comme notre singe à son bocal.

Lester Levenson, dont j’ai déjà parlé dans cet article, a appelé ça le processus « d’agrippation ». Les idées apparaissent, nous pouvons les faire nôtres. Si Chantal lâchait son agrippation, elle pourrait s’apaiser et aller de l’avant.

18052014-Lester-Levenson

Lester Levenson

Comment se débarrasser de nos agrippations ?

La première chose avec laquelle vous devez être d’accord est ceci :

Vous n’êtes pas nécessairement responsable de ce qui vous arrive dans la vie (quoique…) mais vous êtes toujours responsable de ce que vous faites avec les pensées que vous avez et les émotions qui en résultent.

En premier lieu, vous devez reconnaître que vous êtes dans cet état avec cette pensée. Où l’émotion se situe-t-elle dans votre corps ?

Revenons à Chantal : La colère se trouve localisée sur son plexus solaire. Je l’engage à mettre ses mains à cet endroit et je l’invite à lâcher ses émotions en écartant doucement ses mains de son corps.

Elle y arrive un peu puis me dit : « Non, je ne peux pas. Si je lâche tout ce que je ressens vis-à-vis de ma belle-mère, c’est comme si je laissais mon mari partir avec elle ».

Elle se rend compte qu’il ne s’agit que d’une pensée et elle peut alors laisser aller toute sa colère et la libérer en écartant doucement et puis de plus en plus ses mains de son corps.   Elle peut garder le lien avec son mari et lâcher celui avec sa belle-mère. Quel soulagement !

Parfois, c’est le désir de vengeance qui produit cette aggripation : ce serait trop facile pour l’autre ! Traitons alors notre souffrance non reconnue plutôt que de la retourner contre nous.

Parfois aussi, être en colère est plus porteur pour nous que de sombrer dans le chagrin.

Quoiqu’il en soit, nous avons toujours la faculté de faire le choix de la durée de nos émotions.

Et souvent, nous y tenons autant que le singe à ses friandises, nous privant de notre liberté émotionnelle et mentale.

En cliquant sur ce lien , vous pouvez télécharger un résumé de l’histoire de ce personnage vraiment attachant de Lester Levenson.

Bon dimanche !

PS : Je pars demain à Cuba pour presque un mois. A l’heure actuelle, je n’ai pas encore pris de décision pour continuer à écrire tous les dimanches. Je me laisserai porter par mon inspiration…

 

Crédits photographiques : africa- freedigitalphotos.

 

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"C'est comme une oasis dans l'immense folie d'Internet"
Lysbeth (La Havane)

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